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The current year represents a ten-year milestone since the term “disappearing” entered the common lexicon. Back then, the idea that someone could abruptly cease contact with a partner without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the 10 years since, finding a significant other has only become more bewildering – an commonly fruitless pursuit in awkwardness that is increasingly defined by social media lingo.

Gen Z, a demographic who matured during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity reckoning, and a coordinated challenge on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their Gen Y forerunners could ever imagine. And so their dating lexicon has grown longer and more unhinged, with expressions like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” testing the limits of your sanity.

The following list is a comprehensive glossary to the terms gen Z is using to talk about love, sex and the pursuit of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll long to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – According to gen Z, romance's gold standard is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A social media test loosely based on a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reply is interested or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while radiating mystery and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

C

Support test – This signifies seeking out someone who aids you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people form a link while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do budget-friendly romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Crashing out – Melting down when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can crash out over a crush or split, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 1980s yuppie excess, it describes pairs who opt out of having children to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The opposite of being guarded: practicing dialogue, honesty and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Flags

• Warning signs – Behavioral habits indicating a prospective partner is trouble. Examples include calling their former partners crazy, subpar gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These quirks affirm your decision to date a partner. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, having a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These typically describe specific, largely benign idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their wallet, paying rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you connect with someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (few things fosters intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy listens to.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully postponing climax so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An ideal promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and often mundane repulsions that instantly extinguish any feelings of desire.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an incredibly sweet gesture.

J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in sectors they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the era of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers desire fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance realistic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more important than it is. Also known as {